Peter Everhard here, live blogging from NYC my telephone
interview with Mr. Harlow Cuadra. Harlow is at boybatter.com's
secret undisclosed hide...err, I mean, LOCATION in Norfolk,
Virgnia.
First off, I'm a little pissed off. Harlow promised to FedEx
me four Boy Batter Boys. Alls I got was two Boy Batters. I
haven't gone to sleep after having sex with only two guys since
high school.
No matter. Harlow Cuadra is a young guy and he is, after all,
on the ru...err, I mean RUNNING a business. But, next time, I
want six Boy Batter Boys FedEx-ed ... and two large cokes ...
and two side orders of fries!
So, Let's get on with this interview thingy...
Peter: Hello, Mr. Cuadra.
Harlow: Hello, Peter. Glad to talk to you.
Peter: Well, I have to ask, Harlow. Have you killed anybody
today?
Harlow: No!
Peter: Did you kill anybody yesterday?
Harlow: No!
Peter: Can I play with your puzzy?
Harlow: What?
Peter: Look, Mr. Cuadra. If you're gonna be evasive, just
Fed-Ex me those two bonus Boy Batter Boys and we can call this a
wash.
Now, ... where was I ... Mr. Cuadra, Is it true that you have a
twin brother named Marlow Cuadra?
Harlow: As a matter of fact, I do have an identical twin named
Marlow. He's living in Montreal right now.
Peter: Has he pushed any more American strippers into abandoned
quarries since Mark Kraynak and Steve Wright?
Harlow: What?
Peter: Was Marlow that other guy with Timothy Boham at the
Mexican border?
Harlow: What?
Peter: Again, Harlow. If you're gonna be evasive...
Harlow: I'm not trying to be evasive. I'm just not
understanding your questions.
Peter: Okay, Mr. Cuadra. Let's try something different here.
Hypothetical ...
You, Brent Corrigan and a Virgin Hawaiian Princess are on the
rim of an erupting Volcano. Do you throw the Virgin in the
volcano or Brent Corrigan?
Harlow: Is it like a really really hot volcano?
Peter: Yes. It's a boiling hot, hell fire of a volcano. Do you
throw the Virgin in the volcano or Brent Corrigan?
Harlow: Are there like cameras around and like witnes, err, I
mean, other people around?
Peter: Mr. Cuadra, would you just answer the question.
Harlow: Hmmm. I'll have to check with my attorney and get back
to you on this.
Peter: Okay. Hmmm, it says here the correct answer is [b]Both[/b] ...
You're new at this aren't you?
Harlow: New at what?
Peter: Never mind.
Let's get back to your identical twin brother Marlow ...
Is it true that Marlow is a nine and you're only a six?
Harlow: Actually, we're both eight and a halfs.
Peter: Ha, Ha, Ha. Did you grow and extra 2 inches since last
week?
Harlow: What?
Peter: That's it ... I can't work like this... Say What Again!
